Lately we’ve been exploring the depths of self-care/mental health awareness pretty intensely lately.
Whether it be from 3 hour-long phone conversations or 9 Snapchat videos back and forth to each other, or completely leaving each other alone and letting each other just be.
But something clicked when I read this out loud.
“We don’t get better by doing well all the time. We only get better when we have hiccups and we fall.”
I looked into this podcast called #UnStyled and pretty much listened to it on Spotify throughout my whole day.
Refinery29 Global Editor-in-Chief Co-founder Christene Barberich is the host of #Unstyled and invites different women to share their stories of trauma, heartbreak, and success. Guests like Chelsea Handler, Lena Dunham, and Busy Phillips have opened up and shared their narratives. Below is a little bit of a summary and what I personally found the most relatable and admirable from them.
Chelsea Handler’s conversation was my favorite. I feel like I’ve gained a whole new respect for her for bravery and confidence in telling her story of her pain and her coping mechanisms.
Speaking on one of her family members passing away: “That anger turns into motion, productivity, and deflection… and you lash out where you can. It turned into this life where I was going 100 miles an hour and it was a great life…” (5:50)
She talked about how she went through a phase where she couldn’t meditate and was angry at people who talked about kale all he time. Lol. (7:30)
“Everyone was right, but you don’t find that stuff out until your ready to find it out.” (8:13)
I FELT THAT.
“If things are going well your entire life you’re not doing something right.”
“It’s (her story) so relevant to other women and men or whomever. To say if I can do this you can do it. You know I never thought I would be healthy enough to talk about this stuff, I would roll my eyes.”
I just really appreciate Handler’s vulnerability and her not sugar coating anything. She talks about the “bullshit” she once thought meditation was but then later talks about how she incorporated that in her lifestyle and how it changed her for the better. In a lot of ways she reminds me of myself. I mean, I don’t think meditating is bullshit, but I know I find myself always finding difficulty in being still for while. But hearing her take on family dynamics was very inspiring to me. It’s more of facing that reality that everyone can benefit from pain, it can spark creativity. Pain can also ignite a path to finding your true self. And I’m sick of NOT talking about it. I’m sick of not exploring the road of suffering with others who are suffering just the same.
Lena Dunham brings up that you have to find the right people/group that understands you.
“Why go through it if you cant talk about it.” (19:20) Dunham says when she’s asked about how she likes talking about health.
“Every single one of us has different capabilities and different strengths and that has to be ok.”
“The people who understand that grieving is not always a clear upward projectory.” This meaning that it takes time to heal, one day when your okay and the next day when your completely not.
“It’s hard for everyone. Its so hard for everyone and that doesn’t mean its not beautiful and great. But the only people I know who aren’t struggling mightily are people who have struggled mightily in the past and have found some new way to be. People who have a high spiritual program because they are working with their pain.” (17:10)
Lets just sit and read that again.
Honestly, after hearing this I'm just really glad I have the friends who were there for me in the darkest/scariest time of my life, who just let me be and let me feel everything I needed to, and continue to do so.
And even more honestly, if you are reading this and think your "that friend" who thinks you know, you don't. Still love you though.